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Edmund: "Here."
Alex: "Oh. Thank you."
Edmund: "You're welcome."
Alex: "I'm falling apart. I'm never like this."
Edmund: "I'm sorry. This is my fault. I shouldn't have asked you to come to this party. I
pressured you."
Alex: "No. No, no. It was my choice to come. Oh, I should have listened to myself...
the feelings I was having, those nightmares. New Year's Eve. Ugh. I could have killed someone."
Edmund: "But you didn't. Okay? You didn't. David Hayward... he's got a dislocated shoulder.
That's all."
Alex: "I pushed him."
Edmund: "Alex, can you tell me what happened exactly right before he fell, when you were at
the top of the stairs?"
Alex: "I'm not sure."
Alex: "David triggers something in me. It's a visceral reaction, but I can usually control
it."
Edmund: "Alex, any sane person would be completely nuts after the year you had. You know
that? You're entitled to a meltdown."
Alex: "It's not going to happen again."
Edmund: "Well, maybe. Maybe it will, maybe it won't. But even if it did, do you know how
strong you are? Do you? A year ago, you met Dimitri. You knew he was going to die, and
yet you still loved him. You opened up your heart to him."
Alex: "I couldn't help myself."
Edmund: "Can I ask you a question?"
Alex: "Yeah."
Edmund: "You said before, when you pushed him, you weren't really sure who he was?"
Alex: "Yeah."
Edmund: "Okay. Then, who?"
Alex: "I don't know. He seemed threatening somehow."
Edmund: "Someone who hurt you?"
Alex: "Yeah, I don't remember. I should, shouldn't I?"
Edmund: "Listen, Alex, maybe this would be easier to talk about with a woman. Do you want
me to get Rae Cummings? I could get her..."
Alex: "No. I don't want that. Thank you. Thank you. I feel better now."
Edmund: "You sure?"
Alex: "Yes."
Edmund: "Because I promised Dimitri that I would be..."
Alex: "I know, I know. I'm positive. I'm fine. I'm tired. Where's my wrap?"
Edmund: "Listen, let me walk you back to the lodge, okay?"
Alex: "No. I don't want that. You have a whole house full of guests and...
thanks, Edmund."
(Alex goes to Dimitri's crypt) Alex: "My darling, I'm coming apart.
I miss you so much. You were everything to me. I'm falling apart. I'm slipping away. I'm so afraid here in this place without you. I need
your strength. I'm so alone here. I know what you'd say. You'd say, "why don't you lean on
Edmund?" But I can't. He's a dear man. He has a kind heart. But he's so American. He
tries to make me feel that it's okay I'm coming unhinged, but it's not okay. And he asks so
many questions. I'm doing things I don't understand. The voice in my head... I'm losing
control. I'm so afraid of what I might do. I wish you were here. You could just put your arms
around me, make me feel safe. Edmund thinks I'm strong. You knew the real me. And for some
unfathomable reason, you loved me in spite of everything."
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Alex's Sililoquay 2
(Jan. 4, 2000)